At 8am this morning (Who makes the toasters that one finds as a universal presence in hotels the world over? You know the type… they about the size of a colour laser printer but with lots more noise and steel lattice work. You find a slice of bread, which you place on the bit that’s sliding into the thing and then you stand around for an indeterminate time trying not to look self-conscious. Now a variation comes in; some of the machines just gently ease your slice of bread out of the bottom but many shoot it out without warning and with considerable power. You have to try to catch the thing before it shoots on the floor in the manner of somebody practising tennis with one of those machines. In both cases though, your bread will emerge hot but curiously not actually toasted. You probably try the obvious tactic of repeating the whole cycle again but some very minor anxiety tells you that it will spit out cinders next time. Your fear is always well founded as the machine emanates smoke dramatically.
In a globalised world filled with countless mediocre hotels, why has nobody yet managed to market a toaster that actually works?
2 comments:
[sigh]
The hotel toaster is a victory for humans working together. You need to adjust the speed of the conveyor - if yours is too pale, you slow the track down for the next fella.
I think Dualit make one - I was looking in the literature with our (excellent) new D toaster & it had a pic of theirs. I was tempted...
I was expecting a post from you about the BP fella.
Well done The Daily Mail, I say. Fancy having a gayer in charge of petrol - do you want a gay car, do you?
And my Dualit toaster makes decent toasties. OK, not as good as a proper toastie-maker, but easier to clean & it's not stashed in the back of a cupboard.
And who'd like to hear about my new watch?
I think these toasters are great. Ideal for high demand situations. I was staying at the Intercontinental in Prague recently and there was a problem there because someone tried to do cheese on toast in it, therefore leaving a nice slab of previously melted cheese on the exit slide. Of course none of the hotel staff noticed and I could not be bothered to wait around and tell anyone.
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